On Breaking Up

There's no such thing as a good breakup. Try as we might to tie up lose ends, and work towards an amicable split, it doesn't work. As much as they suck, for the majority of us breakups are just a part of life. Sure, there are those lucky people who meet their soulmate right away and never have to deal with the torture and heartbreak that is breaking up, but for most of us we'll experience at least one. Whether you're the dumpee or the dumper, the bottom line is that breaking up will always suck.

Awhile back I wrote on a former blog, a post titled 'Random Relationship Musings', and I won't bore you with the entirety of the post, but the point I was getting at is this- relationships possess only two outcomes, you can either become your significant other's ex, or you can get married to that person. There is no in between, that's the black and white of a relationship. You either break up or get married.

So if you are not fortunate enough to meet your soulmate in your next relationship, the odds are good that you are your boyfriend, or girlfriend, will eventually breakup.

After going through several (well only two) difficult breakups myself, I've come to the realization that certain things just shouldn't be done during a breakup. For instance, no one person needs to win. What I mean by that is it doesn't have to be a battle of who can say the most hurtful things, who can cut the deepest. Let's face it, we're already going to be pretty damn hurt from the conclusion of the relationship, so why add salt to the wound? Yes, I know sometimes it can be hard, because you want to get back at that person who crushed your heart, but at the end of the day what does it accomplish? Nothing y'all, absolutely nothing. It's not a competition of who was hurt more, and you're not going to win anything by being the most hurt.

Another thing that will make breaking up a bit more manageable, is acceptance. Don't get me wrong, I know that is easier said than done. But what isn't going to get you there is constantly texting/calling/tweeting/facebooking that person. If you were dumped because your other needed space, well here's a noble idea- give them space! I can guarantee (speaking from experience) your girlfriend or boyfriend will not come running back to you after the 50th text message you send or the eighth voice mail you leave. And honestly, it just makes you seem like a crazy person.

Last but certainly not least, it's important to remember that IT WILL GET BETTER. No matter how detrimental or devestating your current heart break is, the beautiful thing about hearts is they heal. At times, it may seem like that is not a possibility, but we have a long beautiful life to live and one sour relationship is not the end of our romantic road. Live and learn from your past relationships and trust that you can only get better for your next one.